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as the summer winds down, i find myself thinking about where the past 3 months have gone. i didn't have a bad summer, yet i can barely remember what i did. there were good times and bad times, and i remember the bad times like they were yesterday. it's something i've just been thinking about, because it depresses me. what's even more depressing is the fact that classes start next week, and i think i would rather slit my wrists then take another class here. hopefully a job will be coming through soon so that i can quit here and start anew. i'm hoping it's a job i actually want, but if it's not, it's something else to do besides this while i look for a good job.

this past weekend was amazing. i went out with friends friday night and had the time of my life. my legs are still sore from all the dancing we did. josh and i were definately the drunkies of the group and could barely stand to walk to the car. it was a good night overall, and lifted my what feels like always depressed mood.

i will be heading to the bury in 2 weekends to see cat and amy. i'm sure that will be a major pick-up since i haven't seen amy since july and cat since may. i'm sure i'll have so much fun that i won't want to leave, as always. i'm trying hard to keep all my friends that are still over the bridge, especially those two. it's weird to think that i have barely any connection left to what was the best time of my life at college. while greg was there, i got to see a lot of friends and still feel like i belonged there when i visited. i loved college. it was the one time in my life where i was always truly happy with everything, even if i was stressed about something class-related. i still loved where i was, who i was, and who was in my life. i was totally free and away from home. i guess the reason why i hate this school so much because it is the total opposite of salisbury. all people do here is study and go to class. you can't find half the school at the local bar down the street drinking $1 beers, or at a homecoming football game, or outside reeking havoc during field day. those were the days, and i think about them often as if i'm holding onto them so i don't forget what it was like to be there.

don't get me wrong, i have friends here and i love them. they are my escape from reality when things get tough. they make me feel wanted, which is the best thing in the world! i think some of my really close friends are thinking about moving to florida, which would really depress me more than anything i can think of [besides not having greg anymore]. i hope it's not true

i swear, i'm really depressed! just trying to make my way into the world.